Some goodbyes are happy

As I start this personal journey of self healing and collecting the pieces. I want to take a moment to Thank all the experiences that happened in my life. In just 1 month and 3 days I turn 25 and without all the experiences I would not have grown as a girl, daughter, sister, woman, friend and mother.

As I say goodbye to the old me I feel happy and content. You know they talk about closure after a relationship ends. Sometimes you need a closure from the experiences too.

I was in an abusive relationship and that was the only relation I had. I am a unmarried mother and that is a big thing in a country like India. I had issues with my father and they only escalated. I wanted to be a blogger & youtuber but I was mentally too occupied to know what to do. I am socially awkward and that has pushed things out of window. Even though I am in a better state mentally and emotionally, there were many things that were imperfect and incomplete in my life.

But how did I find closure?

The word closure means –

a feeling that an emotional or traumatic experience has been resolved

google dictionary

Closure is not one size fits all. What closure is for you can’t be the closure for me. But I have definitely understood one simple thing. The only person who can give you a closure from any life experience is YOU.

Before you close the tab and go and search for another article to find the closure that you have been searching for maybe days, weeks, months or years. Hear me out!

The only person who is constant in your life is YOU. You might have a family, best friend or even a soulmate whom you share mostly everything with. But can they hear your thoughts? Can they hear the words that you say to yourself?

If your answer is no then continue reading. Talk to yourself loudly, write down your thoughts in a diary or start a blog like me and share your thoughts. But talking to yourself is necessary. Be aware of the mental diarrhoea that starts when you keep your thoughts to yourself.

How this will give you closure?

I waited for closure from sexual abuse I faced as a child for 15 years. What gave me closure from the sexual abuse by my baby sitter’s husband and son is that when I spoke about it at 21, my friends and family believed it. When I shared my story on my blog and social media people believed it. I got 28 DM’s on Instagram from women who shared their stories. For me that chapter ended emotionally and mentally when I spoke about it.

But I was still hurt and needed a closure from the cycle of self disappointment that I created for myself after my only relationship ended. It took me 9 years to stand up for myself. To realise that being dusky and petite is who I am and I am not just that. I may not apply 20 layers of make up to look a certain way. But I choose to market myself just the way I am. But this clarity of mind came only when I started writing down my thoughts about it.

Beauty standards are gimmicks created by the world of marketing to sell products. We do not need fair and lovely to get fair or dabur honey to lose that belly fat. What we need is to look at ourselves in the mirror naked and love our body. When we feel the love, it is equally important to write down or say it out loud because when the thoughts start wandering. Our loudest thoughts will help us find the way.

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